July 24th, 2025

Ever found yourself mid-argument very convinced that you’re 100% right and the other person is just… wrong?

Like:
— He clearly doesn’t care about me​
— She never listens​
— They are the problem, obviously

Let’s talk about those thoughts.

Because they might be true.

Or they might not.

But either way—they’re probably coming from Reactive Brain, which means they’re flavored by whatever emotion is moving through your body in that moment.

Instead of getting caught in the content of your thoughts (and obsessing over all the evidence to support your argument), try zooming out and wondering about the context behind them.

In other words, if you took a step back and looked at the tone of your thinking, would you say it’s a reflection of mad, sad, scared—or some combo?

Once you recognize the emotional flavor of the thoughts, you’ve got your clue:

That feeling? It’s what’s alive in your body right now. And when you shift that feeling, your thoughts will shift with it.

Because our thoughts aren’t happening in a vacuum—they’re shaped by our internal state.

And when the body calms, the mind can clear—along with the reactive stories that keep us anchored in the conflict and disconnection we’re so desperately trying to get out of.

So, the next time you’re in an argument and you catch yourself mid–TED Talk, passionately explaining your side of things…

Stop talking—and start moving the energy.

Shake. Cry. Stomp. Breathe. Think of something you deeply love without complication (your four-leggeds, a sunset, or a favorite vacation spot all work beautifully).

Let your body process what your mind is desperately—albeit unsuccessfully—trying to fix.

Then check back in—are you in Reactive Brain or Creative Brain?

(If you’re still in Reactive Brain, repeat above steps until the energy fully shifts.)

If you’ve made it to Creative Brain, great! From here, notice how you’re no longer trying to change something out there—the situation, the person, the “problem”—in order to feel safe or more connected.

Because from Creative Brain, we are connection. We’re present, open, and grounded in our own inner safety.

And that “huge” problem from ten minutes ago? It might not even feel like a problem at all anymore.

Quick Tip:

Want another quick shift into Creative Brain—without even moving?

Try appreciation.

Find five things you genuinely appreciate—about yourself, the other person, or even the situation, and let yourself really feel into the energy of appreciating those things.

Can’t find anything to appreciate? That’s okay. Start simple:
— The sun is out
— A song you love belting in the car
— The taste of your favorite food
— A place you love visiting
— The fact that you’re trying something new

The goal isn’t to fake positivity. It’s to interrupt the brain’s negativity loop and invite in warmth, wonder, and connection to yourself.

Appreciation shifts your state.

And when your state changes, everything looks different.

So, the next time you find yourself in the heat of an argument—or even just spiraling in your own head—remember this:

The real shift doesn’t come from arguing about the details, proving your point, or trying to win. It comes from shifting your emotional state—from moving out of reactivity and into Creative Brain. Because from that place—your creative, most connected self—everyone wins.

Cheers to finding the courage to pause, shift, and dissolve conflict from where it begins—from within.

With love,

Sarah