My sister recently sent me this really great meme/mantra she often uses to interrupt Reactive Brain’s* incessant compulsion to look for what’s wrong. It read: what if it all goes right?

Before I knew about Reactive Brain (and how to shift out of it), I didn’t spend much time wondering if things might go right. Instead, I spent a lot of time focusing on what was wrong (or could go wrong) with myself, others, the world, and life in general.

My teacher, Julie Colwell often says: Reactive Brain is a tyrant. I couldn’t agree more. When I’m stuck in Reactive Brain, my focus is narrow and zeroed in on perceived threats, viewing others as the enemy. I often feel irritable, alone, not good enough, and stuck in victim consciousness. I’m reactive, contracted, judgmental, competitive, and I view the world as unfriendly and unsupportive.

When I’m unconscious about my experience in Reactive Brain, it seems impossible to consider what might go right, because RB’s grip of looking for what’s “wrong” (and who’s to blame) has this contagious effect of finding more problems. This cycle not only blocks me from accessing a more positive perspective, but it also often leaves me feeling exhausted, disconnected, and unwell.

Despite the havoc Reactive Brain has wreaked on my relationships, my perspective, my health, and my overall life satisfaction, however, I’m rather happy it’s around. In the grand scheme of the whole survival thing, RB has a pretty solid way of responding automatically, immediately, and with no thought when I’m in real danger. Thank you, Reactive Brain, for keeping me alive – I really appreciate you!

The problem is, Reactive Brain hasn’t quite yet evolved to be able to discern between what’s really a threat (like getting out of the way of the oncoming car) and what’s not (like that angry look my partner or my boss just gave me). While Reactive Brain is undoubtedly a powerhouse for survival, it really comes up short for that thriving, connected, and expansive life experience thing we humans are all so often in search of.

So how do we thrive when we’ve got such a fiercely instinctive survival mechanism to deal with?

For starters, simply recognizing we’re in Reactive Brain (versus getting swept up in believing all of it’s stories of fear and wrongness and separation), is a game changer. Because once we can begin to see that our brain is just doing the thing it does when it’s perceived a threat (and that those threats look a whole hell of a lot different from up in Creative Brain*), we begin to get some space from the urgency, contraction, and desperation of Reactive Brain.

As we choose to come back to practicing this awareness over and over (and over) again, we can also begin to recognize that our thoughts (that often look like facts) in Reactive Brain are actually stories that are quite arguable (even if RB has found all the evidence to prove us otherwise).

When we become more aware of the stories we’re telling ourselves from “below the line,”* in Reactive Brain, (things like: something is “wrong” with me (or him, her, them)! or this shouldn’t be happening! or my life is over!), we can then choose to write a new story to live into (like: I am just having big feelings, or I am a whole human (as are all beings) and always have been, or even though I can’t see it yet, this moment is perfect for my growth and evolution).

If you want to take this tool a little further for some extra shifting power, try adding wondering into the mix with something like my sister’s favorite mantra: what if it all goes right?

The simple act of wondering (especially when we say it out loud with a “hmmmm” to start with) has the ability to loosen the grip of our one-tracked reactive minds and open us up to possibility that minutes before wasn’t available from down in Reactive Brain: Hmmm, I wonder what’s possible if it all goes right?

As you pose this question to yourself, breathe and tune into your body. Do you notice a sense of relaxation taking over? What new, exciting, and expansive possible outcomes do you notice bubbling up into your awareness? How might your perception shift from one of scarcity, fear, and threat, into one that feels more spacious, loving, and open?

Today, if you’re stuck in the grip of Reactive Brain and consumed with thoughts about what’s wrong or what could go wrong – I see you! I have spent a lot of time in this zone and still go there – often on a daily basis. The difference for me today is that I’m much more aware (on most days 🙂 of when I’m in Reactive Brain, and thus I can choose to not stay there as long. Instead, I can work to shift my state and write a new story that supports me to live “above the line,”* where these days, I really enjoy spending as much time as I can, basking in the endless possibilities of Creative Brain and what if it all goes right.

Happy Friday, friends.

May you be filled with all kinds of new and expansive stories that support you to live in possibility and wonder and from your essence 🙂

*Julie Colwell coined the terms and concepts of Reactive Brain, Creative Brain, and above/below the line.